Thursday, June 25, 2020

The Lighthouse

 
"I will lead you both to a ferry that will carry you out of here. It will cross a large, dark body of water and drop you off at the shores of purgatory from where you'll catch a bus." 

As the two followed Fr. Wolfferger, they saw dark thick fog and then a swamp-like lake that smelled rancid and foul, and reminiscent of skunk spray. Fred said to his niece: "Snakes and black beetles behind us and skunks in front of us."

Anita laughed. Her uncle was great at lightening the mood and finding humor, even in the grimmest of circumstances. “Ha! Yes, I’d take the skunk smell over the snakes and beetles any day!” 

There was no way to tell how long we walked for, but after a very long journey we finally reached the valley of a canyon. It was colossal and it had an entrenched river running through it. Here is where the swamp waters had originated from and had cut through rock. The walls of the canyon cliffs were completely vertical and within the steep terrain there was a long narrow staircase that weaved through the rock. 

As we neared the top, and rose above the dark fog and thick, stench filled air, we could hear water rushing and waves crashing. At the top we could see up ahead an immense ocean and a soaring lighthouse right at the edge of a rocky ledge overlooking the waters below. Behind us was a barren landscape with deep, dark, bottomless chasms cutting through the earth and meeting at the center at an abrupt end into the abyss. Without looking back again, we proceeded to the lighthouse. It was cool and crisp up here and we were led to the entryway of the lighthouse. Father led us through and explained, “Before we can leave, you will need to get clearance.” He thought for a moment, “How should I put this? Its like customs and border protection, the gatekeeper will have to grant you passage. You have nothing to worry about, but you will have to be separated and placed in separate rooms to be interviewed before you can be let through.”

We waited inside until The Gatekeeper, a tall, powerful figure, then emerged. He was radiant, carrying a flaming sword, and had large, powerful wings and piercing eyes. He looked at us and kindly but firmly said, “This way, please.”

Before we walked into our interview rooms, we glanced over at one another and briefly exchanged a nervous nod and smile, before each moving forward and stepped into our corresponding interview rooms. As we stepped in, we were surprised to realize that we could still see each other. A glass wall stood between our two interview rooms. 

The gatekeeper explained. “In these rooms we will be going over your book of life and corresponding files. Because your lives and actions affected one another, your stories will cross reference, so I will have both your books and files readily available.”

Rather than seeing “a book of life”, I saw a room filled with file cabinets with a limitless ceiling, and the files extending high beyond what I could see. There was a different label on each of the file cabinet drawers, both good and bad. Each related to different actions of the will, including omissions. One in particular caught my attention, it said “ACTS OF OMISSION: DUTIES OF PARENTHOOD”. I opened the drawer and pulled out one of the documents. Each of the forms were filled out in my handwriting and had my signature at the bottom. It showed the names of those involved, the date, location, and a description of the sin, and those affected by it. Then it showed a web of reference numbers recording and delineating subsequent sins and consequences relating to that omission. I put it back in the drawer feeling sad and ashamed. I looked at several more in that drawer and then I opened another drawer labeled “LIES”. After browsing for some time I felt so ashamed and overwhelmed I couldn’t bear to look anymore. 

The gatekeeper soon came in and he asked me to sit down. As soon as I sat down, my entire life and the contents of everything that was in the drawers flashed before my eyes. When the flash ended, I saw next to one side of the gatekeeper was a beautiful angel and on the other side was a hideous demon. Suddenly I was infused with the knowledge of all the times each of them had tried to persuade my actions. The demon was salivating and demanding savagely that he be allowed to take me the place in the abyss that had been prepared for me. The angel on the other hand, which I came to realize was my guardian angel, defended me and tried to silence the demon. The demon was allowed to show all my sins and offenses and the just punishments that corresponded to them, and then I was shown the place that was waiting for me in hell, too terrible and frightening to even put into words and with unimaginable pains and tortures. It resembled what Saint Teresa of Avila had described in her vision of Hell, with a dark treacherous place that had specifically been reserved for her. It was so horrible and frightening I lost consciousness. 

I was relieved to awaken to the most brilliant, bright, white light. I couldn’t see anything besides the soft white glow but I soon heard the commanding voice of a man say, 

“I will pay the price.” 

I heard all the file cabinet drawers flying open and papers rustling around like if there was a tornado in the room. There  was a tremendous commotion and then complete silence. I blinked and when I opened my eyes again I saw in an instant but with tremendous detail, Our Lord in his agony in the garden, then betrayed and taken to the chief priests, scourged, tortured, crowned with thorns, mocked, and crucified. I saw his side opened by the soldier with a lance, his body taken down from the cross and laid in the arms of his weeping mother, and then laid in the cold, dark tomb. 

He had paid the price for me to be spared!

And then I saw all the holy communions I had received in my lifetime, each time unifying me closer and closer to Him. The fervent communions with ample thanksgiving prayers afterwards had been the most fruitful for my soul. I also saw all my prayers, my sacrifices, confessions. Nothing had gone unnoticed or without benefit. 

Suddenly, I woke up with a start, I gasped for air, and looked around but the room was empty. The file cabinets were gone and what remained was only a thick, hefty book with golden pages and the cover was embossed with my full name on it. Next to it lay a stamped ticket and a bag with various things, which included a white beeswax candle, a bible, a rosary, a bottle of holy water, some blessed matches, a cord with 15 knots in it, and a brass censer with charcoal and incense.

Anita's uncle walked in with dazed eyes, but then he smiled as their eyes met and then they sparkled. He said, 

"They let me see your interview. It was like mine except my sins were like the darkest black holes with disfigured Freddy Kruger nightmares branded into my soul with a burning sizzle that made me scream, 'My God, why have you forsaken me!' Then I saw the Sacred Heart of Jesus pierced with a lance causing a flood of His Blood to bathe and inflame me with pain and sweet joy as I felted the nightmare sizzled brands healed."

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