Footprints

 

As we finally approached land, we could get a clearer image of what awaited us at the shore. The beach was lined with sandy shores, and not too far off from that shoreline were steep soaring cliffs and mountainous terrain, similar in a degree, to the shores which we had fled. Clearly there was a vast difference here, such that, in contrast to the dark, putrid, mire-like setting of our previous location, here it was bright, fresh, green, with vibrant, bold colors and gem-like shining water, reflecting the beautiful array of colors from a sunrise that seemed to never fade away. The water gently swayed our boat, thrusting and laping against that smooth, fine, ivory colored seashore. 

As Anita watched the water and stared out at the shoreline, it brought to mind one of her favorite poems, called “Footprints in the Sand”. 

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you."

She then thought back to one specific scene she had seen in her book of life, recalling what was undoubtedly the most painful time in her life, it was just after she'd had a third miscarriage, her health had been deteriorating, her marriage strained and only being held together by a thread. Now mourning a third child that she would never be able to meet, to hold, to baptize, haunted by what could have been, and filled with regret and guilt, wondering if the miscarriages had somehow been her fault. Despite fervent prayers and steadfast fidelity to her marriage and to the will of God, she had sunken into a deep depression and a time of spiritual desolation. She'd felt so alone, abandoned, and lost, but thinking back, Our Lord has been with her the entire time, carrying her through that dark period. Using her faith and the people in her life to lead her though. At that time she couldn't see His hand working, but holding on to faith and hope, now years later things were better than she could have ever hoped for. 

Her marriage was now a beautiful example of what married life should and could be, still on a path of growth, but now centered on mutual self-giving,  self-sacrifice, and a less selfish kind of love. She had now learned to cherish each day of pregnancy, like it could be the last, not facing it in a cynical or morbid way, but rather appreciating each day with the growing child in her womb, loving them, knowing them in that special way that only a mother can, and giving them the greatest gift possible in this life by taking them to receive Our Lord in Holy Communion every day, when possible. There would be no more room for regret or guilt, when that child was known and loved each and every day in the womb, and was able to know our Lord trough Holy Communion, through his mother. One more heartbreaking miscarriage had followed those first three, but what also followed in the coming years were three healthy pregnancies, three beautiful children. Healing and closure had also come, coming to trust in God's divine providence, and knowing that he uses all our suffering and pain for our ultimate good. Also, because of Fred's diligent and loving research into limbo, and the impact of ones parent's intent to baptize their child, she had peace and hope that she would meet her children in the afterlife. 

Teary eyed and a bit choked up, Anita looked over at Fred and asked, "Do you remember the Footprints in the Sand poem, the one about only one set of footprints in the sand during our most troubled times, but not because we are alone during those times, but because thats when Jesus carries us? Looking at that shoreline got me thinking about it. Do you know which one I'm taking about?"

 

Fred, holding back crying, but tearing, said, "I remember when my wife died crying as I walked around praying my Rosary. I would think of Him on the cross. I felt so alone," as he fall into tears and restrained crying, he whispered "but, in those moments when I felt like I would have a nervous breakdown, I felt united with Him."

......................

Suddenly, two angelic soldiers appeared on the boat, and one of them, with a robust, and commanding tone, spoke. “We are here for the travelers. They will not exit with the others on the boat, as those souls, only by the great mercy of God have made it to these shores. The souls arriving here must remain in this region of purgatory, as they are not ready to move beyond, but the travelers are permitted to proceed further.”

The other angel then added, “There is a bus waiting, the only means to exit this region, and it will deliver them to their next destination.” ...