The Sheriff Fred and Mountain Lion Letters

The Catholic Monitor has no intention of explaining how the following correspondence fall into its hands:  

Big Cat,

Ole Sheriff Fred would ride off into the sunset with Silver except the Lone Ranger was mad as a wet rooster. He told me that you went and indulged in your weakness for horseflesh. It looks like I gotta walk off into the sunset.

But, you don't get out of joining the my two man (or one man and one mountain lion) posse that easy. I here do deputized you as part of my here posse. The Sheriff does bear firearms, but you don't have to worry because he is world famous for being the slowest draw in the West. 

Nothing at hand. If you could just throw together your clever humorous mountain lion stuff about why the Big cat was gone and why he is returning.

The Sheriff's style is journalistic commentary with straight evidence commentary. But, I do the devotional when I am inspired which is important. I have been told by readers they like my two Sheriff Fred pieces because they need a little comedy relief because times are so dark. Besides I that, I just like having some fun. My comedy is pure ridiculousness, but your humor is light and yet insightful. If we did something with the mountain lion and the Sheriff it would be the Big Cat who would be the hero and SF the sidekick comedy relief. You would write the story and I would contribute some Sheriff dialogue unless you want pure ridiculousness. I am going to study the Fr. Brown stories and see if I can actually write something like that. 

What is your cat style of writing?

Sheriff Fred

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Sheriff Fred,

Being part of your posse would be something the Big Cat would feel is a bother and might disturb my catnap. Besides, us mountain lions are uncomfortable in large groups. In addition, there are not a lot of  mountain lion in Dodge City and Tombstone. The Big Cat also doesn't feel comfortable around firearms.

The Big Cat is considering writing a story about his adventures in the Wild West which might finally get him the attention he merits. If you are serious about writing about my Old West adventures, can you tell me about you style of writing as a journalistic lawman?

You should be advised that the Big Cat has a taste for horseflesh.

Big Cat

Pray an Our Father now for the restoration of the Mass and the Church as well as for the Triumph of the Kingdom of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.